


Teacher Teacher

by nirejseki, robininthelabyrinth (nirejseki)



Series: Flashwave Week 2018 (Destiny Series) [5]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Destiny of the Endless - Freeform, M/M, Matchmaking, Time Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 13:41:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirejseki/pseuds/nirejseki, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nirejseki/pseuds/robininthelabyrinth
Summary: "I'm starting a school," Len says. "For magical creatures.""So, like - Hogwarts?""No, notlike Hogwarts, what do you think I am?""A nerd?"(Flashwave Week 2018: Supernatural AU)





	Teacher Teacher

"So I've decided to start something of a charity project," Len says.

"O-kay," Mick says slowly. "And?"

"Well, I'm going to need some help -"

"And I'm going to stop you right there. No."

"You don't even know what help I need."

"Boss," Mick says dryly. "I know you. I knew you when you were a kid. I knew you when you were a thief. I knew you when you were a supervillain. Do you really think that you've suddenly become a mystery just because you got magic powers and a book?"

"I didn't get _magic powers_ ," Len grumbles. "I got the powers of Destiny of the Endless. And, _yes_ , it came with a book, I'll grant you that - _the_ Book, even. But it's a sight more impressive than _magic powers_."

"Whatever. You're scheming, Len. Just because you went blind doesn't mean _I_ suddenly have."

Len flips him off, which Mick supposes is fair.

"Can't you just trust that it's scheming that you'd like?" Len tries, like Mick's newly become an idiot or something, and Mick gives Len a look signifying what he thinks of that suggestion. 

Len might be blind, but he knows Mick well enough to know what Mick's doing.

"Fine," Len says, rolling his eyes. Mick's still not used to them glowing inhuman blue like that. "Won't you at least hear me out?"

"What, and let you have a chance to use that silvertongue of yours to convince me?"

" _Mick_."

"Oh, fine. Hit me."

"A school," Len says. "For magical creatures."

"So, like - Hogwarts?"

"No, not _like Hogwarts_ , what do you think I am?"

"A nerd?"

Len rolls his eyes. "I wanna teach 'em how to handle the modern world."

Despite himself, Mick's interest is piqued. "Don't they already?"

"No, most of 'em retreated instead. Various places: to Faerieland, to Dreamland, to Hell, to other realms -"

"Hell? You serious?"

"Mick," Len says, very steadily. "By chance do you remember hooking up with some guy with wings and a piano fetish?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. That was back when I was Kronos. What about it?"

"That was Lucifer."

"Yeah, he said -"

"No, Mick. The _real_ Lucifer. That's why the Time Masters looked so surprised when you came back out alive and sane."

"...Oh. Huh. Say -"

"No, he's taken, or as much as practicable."

"Damn."

"Literally, in this instance."

Mick sniggers. 

Len smirks. 

"Okay," Mick says. "So this school. What were you thinking?"

"How to handle things in the modern day," Len says, brightening. "Basic things: trains, cars, electricity, music, basic conversations, cultural expectations -"

"Why, though?"

"Because if they get a basic primer in modern day human life, they can come _back_. All of them: fairies and vampires and brownies and werewolves and spirits of anything you like."

"And we...want that?"

"Of course we want that! Think of how much more _interesting_ everything will be!"

"Yeah, and _dangerous_. Some of those things eat humans, don't they?"

"Mick. The guy who helped the Legends unleash literal demons and dragons and shit does not get to bitch about a couple of household spirits and a few bumps in the night."

"...we're gonna put 'em back eventually."

"All of 'em?"

"Most of 'em!"

"Even the dragons?"

"...I like the dragons."

"But Mick," Len says, opening his blind eyes wide. "Don't they sometimes eat humans?"

"Oh, all _right_ , no need to get fucking shirty about it," Mick says. "I'll give you that this school of yours ain't a half-bad idea. But why should I help out?"

He doesn't ask _why_ Len asked him. It doesn't matter how well-fit or not he is for a given task, Len always asks him; he's as necessary to Len as Len's right hand.

He learned that the hard way, in a shatter of bloody ice and a shout in a hoarse, pained voice. He's not going to forget it anytime soon. 

He's a _little_ concerned about what's going to happen at the end of his life, which is - as far as he knows - still a mortal one, while Len has taken on the mantle of the Endless, which implies something a little less limited, but he feels pretty sure than Len has something in mind to take care of that issue. 

Len usually does. Scheming bastard. 

He probably even has a plan to hook Mick up with someone similarly immortal just to make sure Mick agreed to immortality himself.

"- even putting aside how _awesome_ it's going to be," Len is saying, "you should help because it'll help lots of people -"

Mick snorts.

"- and because I'm calling in my favor from Tulsa."

"...fuck." Len's always calling in some imagined favor or another to get Mick to do something that Mick would probably do anyway just because he's a sucker for Len asking him for things and always has been, but Tulsa is an _actual_ favor that Mick owes, so clearly Len's really invested in this little project of his. 

And, well, what the hell. Mick's not about to let Len out of his sight again anytime soon; he might as well do something worthwhile with his time, and this school of Len's seems as worthwhile as anything else. 

Len is looking all hopeful, though, like he thinks there's a chance Mick might say no, sorry, I'm not doing this, I'd rather go off and keep up with the Legends - or the fire - or whatever.

The man literally became Destiny itself and he's still fucking insecure. 

Probably just to fuck with Mick. Mick wouldn’t put it past him.

"Fine," Mick grumbles. "But you've got to make sure I get laid."

He doesn’t actually mean it. Len’s ideas for people Mick should hook-up with are universally godawful.

Well, Mick usually sleeps with ‘em anyway, and it’s usually the best sex of his life, but it doesn’t _last_ or anything; no one who sees how co-dependent he and Len are ever agrees to make it last no matter how many times Mick explains that he’s not ever going to fuck Len, both because Len is ace and doesn't want to and also because Mick has been the other half of Len's brain so damn long that he can't see the man as attractive. No one ever believes him, even though it's true.

"I promise," Len says earnestly, which means he’s already planning something. For someone as disinterested in romance and sex as Len, he sure as fuck was interested in meddling in _other_ peoples' love/sex lives. 

Mick officially gives up, gives in, and - just for kicks - gives Len a nudge on the shoulder to indicate as much.

"Great!" Len exclaims. "I'll tell your co-teacher and you can get started right away."

"Hold up," Mick says. "Co-teacher?"

"Didn't I mention..?"

"No. You didn't. And you know it."

"Oh, well," Len says, utterly unapologetic. "Too bad you've already agreed."

Mick'd say he is gonna kill the little fucker, but that threat rather lost taste after the Oculus.

Although now that he thinks about it...

"Say," he says as fake-casually as he can manage. "This whole 'Endless' thing means you're immortal, right? Does that mean -"

"You theoretically _could_ shoot me and I'd survive," Len agrees, because as much as Mick knows Len, Len also knows Mick and figured out exactly where he was going with that. "But then I wouldn't tell you anything."

"You wouldn't tell me anything _anyway_."

"Yeah, you're right, I wouldn't."

"Boss, your usual assholery aside, you can't just introduce me to some random person as a co-teacher; it'll be awkward as fuck!"

"Good point," Len says thoughtfully. "Well, at least it's someone you know."

Mick's about to ask for more information, but Len promptly disappears.

Fucking asshole. 

Mick goes to find the school - it's not hard to find anything in Len's gardens, because almost by definition every pathway leads to where you want to go, it being the Garden of Destiny and all that - and he's expecting just about anything in his co-teacher, from one of the Legends to one of their old criminal co-workers to the homeroom teach he had a crush on as a kid, but somehow Len still manages to surprise him.

"What are you doing here?" he exclaims.

Barry Allen, the Flash, blinks up at him from the table. "Um," he says. "Apparently I'm - co-teaching in a school? According to Snart?"

"Why are you here instead of superheroing?" Mick clarifies. 

Barry rubs his eyes. "I, uh - there was a disaster. To save the world, I ran into it and disappeared, leaving Wally to be the Flash for - a while. A fair long while. It was this or sit around in the Speed Force the entire time, and, well, this seemed – less awful. Speed Force is kinda creepy."

“…fair enough,” Mick says. He’d say he’s surprised, but actually that sort of disaster sounds just right up the Flash’s alley. He’s traveled with Wally on the Waverider, though; the kid’ll do a good job. 

At the very least, he thinks to himself, this mean that he doesn’t have to worry about this being one of Len’s ill-thought-out hookup attempts – after all, he was just at Allen’s wedding, and the man was besotted. 

It means he goes into this whole school thing unsuspicious.

Mick _really_ ought to have known better than that.

The teaching itself goes great – he and Barry stay up late a few days with a pack of beer that seriously affects neither of them and they hammer out a curriculum of stuff that people pretending to be normal people should know, like basic social skill rules (when they ask “what’s up” or “how are you”, the answer is “good” even if it really isn’t), rules of the road (stop at stop signs when driving, you let the people in the train get out before you get in, and don’t hog the whole damn sidewalk when you’re with a group), and miscellaneous stuff (don’t put dish detergent in your washing machine, always tip hotel people and waiters if you’re in America and check otherwise, ask before petting the dog and never if they have a sign indicating they’re working, etc.). 

Actually teaching the class itself...that’s fun, too. Mick’s never been up-to-date on his mythology and folklore, but he gets a crash course in a whole bunch of different types of magical beasties and their myriad likes and dislikes, and also how to deal with deflecting attention about them in the modern day.

Burned by silver? Say you’re allergic, people will be sympathetic.

Carnivore species? Say you’re anemic and need to stock up your iron, and anyway you’ve always hated [insert vegetable here] ever since you were a kid.

Otherwise limited ability to eat various food? You’re on the new [make up name here] diet and you can’t eat any of this, sorry.

Unable to stand daylight? You’re a computer programmer who keeps weird hours.

Can’t conduct electricity sufficiently to use touchscreens? They make touchscreen-friendly gloves now; get a pair of those and bitch about your “unusually dry skin” the rest of the time.

You’re a persnickety fucking fairy that can’t sign off on anything without reading the fine print? Congrats, you’re a lawyer.

Unbearable desire to count things? You have OCD. 

Can’t pass running water without being shipped in a box with earth? Take a potted plant with you and travel via a subway car; that’s box-like enough.

In other words, Mick likes it. He likes teaching, he likes the school, he likes the students - damnit, he _likes_ it. 

He even likes the idea of introducing all these magical creatures back into the world. 

Sure, the students sometimes try to kill him and Barry, their nature being what it is, but really, that's just a good reminder to keep them on their toes.

And working with Barry, that’s fun, too. He’s more sharp-tongued and cynical than Mick remembered, and he’s clever and funny and he’s got a bone-deep optimism that’s been tempered but is still unshakeable. Honestly, all around, he’s just more mature than Mick recalls him being when they fought him or at the wedding or at the alien invasion – less prone to drama, more contemplative, and patient with problems. 

Mick likes him.

He _really_ likes him.

And he goes along thinking that it’s all well and good to have a crush on someone unavailable to keep him busy (what with Len’s proposed hook-up having yet to appear) right up until the moment when they’re working on grading late at night, laughing at some of the weirder answers (kitsune, man, they’re _wild_ ) and then suddenly Barry is reaching over and pulling Mick in and they’re kissing.

It’s very, very nice for the approximately fifteen seconds before Mick’s brain reboots.

Okay, yes, he still waits thirty seconds before breaking the kiss.

Mick’s never claimed to be a good man.

“Red,” he says gently.

“Did I misread this?” Barry asks. “I apologize if I had. I thought you were interested.”

“I am, you didn’t misread that. But for all the things I’ve done, I’m still not a home-wrecker.”

Barry frowns. “Beg pardon?”

“I don’t do infidelity,” Mick explains.

Barry just looks more confused. “Do you mean – I thought you and Len weren’t together?”

“We’re _not_!” Mick exclaims automatically.

“Then – who…?”

Mick frowns back at Barry. “Why do you think I’m talking about me? You’re the one who’s married. Iris West-Allen, remember? You only talk about her every ten minutes.”

“Only about as often as you talk about Len,” Barry points out, which is true but irrelevant.

“Well, yeah,” Mick says, “but unlike me and Len, I saw you _marry_ her.”

“Well, yeah, and then _divorce_ her.”

“What, _seriously_?!”

“Yeah,” Barry says, looking bemused. “Two years ago, now.”

“Two – you weren’t even married two years ago! You got married two _months_ ago!”

More like seven months, but who was counting?

Unless...

“What year are you from?” they both demand at once.

Turns out Barry’s nearly nine years in Mick’s future.

No wonder he’s more mature.

He and Iris are still best friends, apparently; they’ve just fallen into more of a Mick-and-Len co-dependent dysfunctional assholes routine than a proper marriage, and anyway there’d been some complications with people coming back from the dead and Barry spending time in space and whatnot so they’d realized they’d be better friends when they _weren’t_ married. After some heartbreak and routine-adjustment, Barry set out fully intent on dating again, but he's been running into the same problem as Mick: no one believes that he's not hung up on Iris because he still talks to her all the time, even though he really isn't. 

For Barry’s part, he hasn’t seen Mick since Mick went off into the timeline.

And that means they’re potentially from the same timeline.

And, apparently, both single.

“Oh,” Mick says.

“Yeah,” Barry says.

“Huh,” Mick says.

“So...” Barry says.

“I’m going to kill Len,” Mick says conversationally.

“Why?”

“He set me up. He always sets me up. Except it never works!”

Barry frowns.

“Not you,” Mick assures him. “You work just fine.”

“Maybe he’s gotten better at it now that he’s, well, uh, Destiny of the Endless?”

“...maybe.”

“Definitely,” Len says, popping out from literally nowhere behind them. “You two could be great for each other. Even I can see it, and I’m blind!”

“Literally no one is ever going to buy that line from you ever again,” Mick says. “You have a giant glowing book containing everything ever.”

“Is this destined?” Barry asks. His eyes narrow. “Did you make sure it was?”

“No, of course not,” Len says briskly. “I believe in free will, I don’t read ahead for my friends – or enemies – because it’s no fun, and anyway, I’m the _Reader_ of Destiny, not the maker of it. Your destiny is in your own hands. _Lower case_ destiny, Mick, stop grabbing at me, I don’t care how good a pun it is.”

Mick sits back down. 

Not his fault that some of Len’s awful sense of humor has stuck over the years.

“Besides, everyone in the school is betting on when you’ll hook up,” Len says unhelpfully.

“Including you, huh? Setting us up for a big payday?” Mick asks, mostly nostalgically. Len liked to do that sometimes when they were going somewhere new. 

“No,” Len says, surprising him. Though all is explained when he adds, with a scowl, “None of ‘em will bet with me.”

“To be fair,” Barry says, barely hiding a smile. “Book, everything ever, kinda a gimme there.”

“Spoilsports, all of ‘em.”

“There, there,” Mick says unsympathetically. “You can always con the regular suckers.”

“Conning the regular suckers is _boring_.”

“Con the supervillains,” Barry suggests.

Len looks intrigued by that idea.

“Aren’t you not supposed to interfere or something?” Mick asks.

Len shrugs. “Destiny sometimes requires activity. Now, getting back to the more important part, _kiss already_.”

They both glance at each other, then glance at Len meaningfully.

“...what?”

“Go away, maybe?” Barry suggests. 

“But you haven’t kissed yet.”

“Maybe we’re waiting for you to leave. Ever thought of that, genius?”

Len frowns. “But I put in all that work to get you two together! I deserve to see the payoff!”

“Boss. Go _away_.”

“But –”

“Boss. You promised me you’d get me laid. Stop getting in the way.”

Len departs, grumbling.

“You know he’s just going to read along, right?” Barry asks, his suppressed laughter bubbling through as he speaks.

“Yeah,” Mick says, “I know. But at least he’s not actually here while I do this.”

He pulls Barry in for another kiss, Barry smiling the whole while as he does.

Maybe this school thing wasn’t as bad an idea as all that.

“Professors, I have a question –” one of their ghost students asks, floating through the wall and freezing when they sees what’s going on. “Never mind! I’ll just go now!”

And then they turned tail and dashed out, shouting, “They’ve done it! It’s happened!”

“That,” Barry says, very steadily, “was Snart’s fault, wasn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“Not via his new Destiny powers.”

“Nope, no need. Probably just tipped off a student on his way out of here.”

“Iris would’ve done the same thing,” Barry observes.

Mick thinks back to his interactions with her. “Yeah. Probably.”

They share a look of perfect understanding. Platonic soulmates, what can you do - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. 

“Wanna move this somewhere a bit more private than our offices?” Mick asks.

The world spins, lit up by sudden lightning, and they’re in Barry’s bedroom.

Mick grins. “I take that as a yes...”


End file.
